Envy Is a Sin
by letitbe54
Summary: "Envy is the deadliest of all sins". To Bella, Esme has it all. A kind heart, good looks, and best of all Carlisle, the man Bella is sure she loves. But when Esme finds out about Bella's crush will she still be able to love her as a daughter or will the Cullen's fall apart at the seams? A few years after BD, all vampire EsxC. M for lemons and language. Bella OOC with dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

**I shouldn't start another story but here it is! I planned on it being a short little one shot but apparently it wants to be more, though as always the reader has control over how many chapters this story will have so please review! **

**OoOoOoO**

I watch them from a far, their forms melded together like melting plastic. Coconut scented massage oil drips off her shoulders as he rubs her milky skin, causing her to moan slightly. I can see her nipples hardening through her lavender bathing suit, the already tight fabric becoming tighter. He reaches over and adjusts the umbrella, guarding his wife and himself from the wandering eyes of his children.

Or so he thought.

He runs his fingers through her caramel locks, the oil catching in her locks messily.

"Carlisle," she sighs, pushing away for a moment to try and fix her hair. Carlisle smiles and leans in to kiss his wife, her distress immediately forgotten as they engage in the passionate act. Esme hooks one shapely leg around Carlisle's waist, pulling her closer as Carlisle adjusts accordingly. I can see the strain in his pants grow as she whispers something in his ear. He chuckles softly and pulls her in for another kiss.

Their love is so pure, no innocent that it makes me sick. So many years I yearned to have what Esme has, oh how lucky she is to have that blonde god all to herself. I once thought Edward was all I needed, all I would ever hope for in a man, and then I saw Carlisle. Everything about him called me in, his voice, his smell, his elegant style, even his age, which was physically a few years older than me. I never spoke of my desires, not to Edward and most certainty not to Carlisle, who loves his wife more than life itself and would never even dream of leaving her, especially not for _me._

When I woke up to my new vampire body I thought I would be welcomed by someone as beautiful as Alice or Esme, and to a certain degree I was, but when I looked into that mirror I didn't see the person I had hoped to see. I had been wanting Carlisle for so long I had imagined myself waking up to a body identical to Esme's, if for no other reason than to help me sleep at night. I knew Carlisle liked curvier women so I tried eating more before my transformation, but Nessie's pregnancy had soiled my plans and dropped me to a bone-skinny body of 98 pounds, even skinner then I was before. So now I'm stuck in this body that will never compare to what Carlisle already has, a shapely woman with a gleaming smile who is beautiful both inside and out.

"Hey, Carlisle? I think we're going to go explore the island a little more, and leave you two love birds alone," Alice called from the ocean, her bathing suit dripping as she came ashore, Jasper in tow. Rosalie followed, ringing her hair out gracefully. I used to envy my oldest sister, but I've grown out of that stage, Emmett does little for me.

Carlisle peeked out from behind the large umbrella stuck a few inches deep in the white sand. "Thanks, Alice. We'll come in a bit later. Where's Bella?"

I shrunk a little deeper into my hiding place, making sure the small alcove covered me entirely. I had chosen one of the steep cliffs overlooking the sea to spy on my 'parents,' a rocky indention perfect for obscuring my petite body.

"I don't know, probably just exploring or hunting, you know how she likes her alone time," the tiny vampire reminded him.

That is true; ever since I married Edward I've been spending more and more time away from the family, much to their surprise. Esme of course is always trying to include me in everything, as if I was the kid in the corner that always got left out. If only she knew what I thought of her, how much burning hatred resides in my heart for her, maybe then she wouldn't smile and welcome me into her family. Maybe then she wouldn't trust me so much, especially around her husband.

"Yes, she does," Carlisle muttered quietly, sinking back down to cuddle with the caramel haired beauty. Esme laid down on her stomach, relaxing into one of the fluffy towels Carlisle had brought out a few hours ago. She giggled lightly as he untied her bikini top, sitting up just a bit so he could pull it off and throw it over his shoulder nonchalantly.

"Whoa, dad! Wait till we're out of here until you start undressing mom!" Emmett bellowed, slapping a hand over his eyes. Rosalie grabbed his hand, rolling her eyes as they ran to the forest line, the rest of the family in tow.

Edward's bronze head streaked by, his body the quickest out of all of them. I used to admire that trait especially.

"Just call me if Bella comes looking for me," he yells to his father as he gallops past. Carlisle didn't bother with replying, or even nodding, knowing that Edward had gotten the message through his mind.

Jacob and Nessie were the last to leave. This trip to Esme Isle had been a celebration of sorts for Nessie and Jacob, an engagement party of sorts. Jacob had popped the question to my daughter a few days ago and after her prompt and positive reply Alice had the whole family whisked away to Esme's private island. The bags had already been packed, so I couldn't really decline, plus Edward was expecting me to go, and I have to keep up my image, wouldn't want my secret leaking. So I went and for the past week I have endured Carlisle and Esme's obvious shows of affection both day and night, night being the worst.

In the Cullen house the walls are heavily soundproofed, and although our vampire hearing can still penetrate it is not nearly as loud as it would have been normally. No surprise when Carlisle built the house on Esme Isle he didn't bother with sound proofing anything, never thinking that anyone besides himself and his wife would ever grace its floors. Truth be told not many have. This is the first time all the Cullen's have been on Esme's island, and it's the first time Nessie and Jacob have ever been on the island, their expressions on first seeing it ranging from impressed to ecstatic.

Just like my first time here, way back, years ago when Edward took me here for our honeymoon. Our love was already fading then, or at least the love I had for him, and it was nice to be able to go somewhere that didn't just revolve around sex like some honeymoon spots.

I had loved it when I first saw it, the little island complete with a cute house lit up on the horizon. And then Edward told me Carlisle had bought it for Esme and my heart sunk. I no longer wanted to be on that island with Edward after hearing that Carlisle and Esme had had countless intimate encounters on that island. I didn't want to rest in the bed Esme had climaxed in, her husband's fingers dancing over her porcelain skin gently. I didn't want any of it, but like now I endured the visit and I endured Edward's body and his revolting roughness.

I had told myself I would never go back there again, but here I am on Esme Isle once again, its intoxicating smell making my nose curl in disgust. How can something so beautiful be so awful?

I eyed the feverish couple below me, shaking my head at what I saw. Esme had flipped over, showing off her pink, pert nipples and large breasts. Her chest heaved as Carlisle played with them pinching and twisting her nipples, his thumb grazing the underside of her breasts erotically. Her moans were throaty and deep as he leaned down to kiss each nipple, his tongue darting out to lick at the tender and pebbled flesh.

That's how something so beautiful can be so awful, because of Esme. She ruined everything I ever wanted in life, she took it away before I even opened my eyes for the first time. She took this beautiful, lush island and turned it into her own personal paradise, in other words my worst nightmare.

"Oh Carlisle!"

Her voice is breathy as Carlisle's hands move down to her bikini bottom, flicking the material impatiently.

"We can't…not here, Carlisle, what if Bella shows up?" Esme reasoned between moans. Carlisle frowned.

"Then she'll see what love looks like. Plus, you already have your top off, what's one more little piece of fabric anyway?"

Esme's eyes searched around the perimeter, checking for any unwanted eyes. I ducked before she could see me, my sigh of relief almost audible as she leaned back down, her search complete.

"I suppose, but please don't throw it like you did before. If anyone comes I want to be able to grab them quickly." Her voice sounded worried and strained.

Carlisle nodded and pulled off the rest of her bathing suit, her thighs lifting slightly so he could tug them off.

I thought back to the night before, where there hadn't been a single note of worry in Esme's voice. She had beckoned her lover up the stairs to their personal bedroom, seducing him easily. When Edward and I came here Edward didn't show me the entire house, as he made a promise to his mother to not show Bella her bedroom located upstairs, the only way up being a secluded and hidden staircase.

Esme showed me the room the first day we were here, much to my ire. It had been a nice and quiet day, away from everyone else who had gone hunting for the day. I had been reading a book in the 'blue room' when Esme knocked on the door softly, asking if she could come in. I allowed her to come in and she proceeded to come in and sit on the bed, her hand coming out to touch my foot gently, in a motherly way. I contemplated pulling it away, but didn't want to scare her off, so I allowed the rather offending touch to linger. She shifted awkwardly and smiled.

"I just was thinking you might want to see the bedroom Carlisle and I share here. I know how much you love the house, and since you didn't see it on your honeymoon and all…"

Esme's voice faded off as she looked down. It took me a moment to understand that she was awaiting my answer.

"Sure, Esme. Why not," I said, trying to keep the note of sarcasm out of my voice. I really didn't want to go, but I needed to keep up appearances, and if Edward heard I hadn't done anything aside from sit around and read he would begin to get suspicious.

"Wonderful! Come with me," she said giddily, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room hastily.

"We wanted it to feel as secluded as possible so we tucked the staircase away in here," Esme said, opening up a door I had always thought was just a closet.

An elegant cast-iron spiral staircase awaited us, the dark iron creating floral patterns on each step, light streaming in from a small window to dance over each petal.

"Carlisle had everything made special, just for me," Esme said sweetly as we climbed the stairs. Her words sounded extremely selfish, but her voice made her statement sound kind, as if she were worshipping Carlisle instead of the other way around.

"You won't find anything in here anywhere else," she reminded me again as we neared the top. Her chirpy voice was starting to get annoying. I don't know how Carlisle can even stand her for more than a few minutes.

I must admit, the bedroom was a master piece. A large, majestic bed sat in the middle of the room, it's bedding a soft and muted gold. Red drapes fell from the ceiling, cascading around the bed and secluding the inhabitants from the outside world. The floor was a light wooden color, along with the dresser and nightstands. The walls were also a light golden color and covered in paintings and drawings, all of them signed by the devil herself. A large balcony overlooked the beach, complete with flowing white curtains and glass paned doors. There were a few chairs and a table by a stone fire place, their colors all soft just like the bed. A TV and a few computers sat on the mantle, along with a thin vase with a handful of native flowers blooming from its depths. I noticed the start of a claw foot tub in the bathroom, but my inspection was cut short when Esme promptly shut the door, a smile still on her face.

"Nothing you need to see in there," she murmured, pushing me away. I made a mental note to inspect that later.

"So you like it?" she asked sitting down in one of the chairs. She ushered me to do the same, which I reluctantly did.

"Yes, it's very nice. You are very lucky."

She thought I was talking about the room. If only she knew I meant her husband.

She laughed, "I am, aren't I? I don't deserve all this, though. Carlisle spoils me. In reality we were just at the right places at the right times. I sometimes think about what would have become of me had I never met Carlisle when I was sixteen. I probably would have killed myself much earlier then I tried."

"I wish you did," I muttered very quietly.

Esme's head turned and our eyes met, "What did you say, dear?"

"Nothing. It was nothing," I said as I stood up to leave.

"Wait, you don't have to leave. I shouldn't have been talking about that anyway, what a depressing topic. We can talk about whatever you want, Bella, I just want to talk to you. You've seemed a little…distant these past couple years. I just want to know what's wrong."

_You want to know what's wrong, Esme? I love your husband, that's what's wrong._

"I really must be going. I have things I need to do. Thank you for showing me this, Esme." I made a move to leave but Esme grabbed my arm.

"Please, Bella. I want to help, you can talk to me. Whatever it is I won't judge you, I promise." She looked at me with pleading eyes, her lips slightly pouty. The lips that Carlisle kisses every night.

"I said I need to go," I said sharply, pulling my arm away from the woman's grasp. She sighed in defeat as I left, my feet stomping on the steps loudly.

Later that night I rejected Edward's offer of sex, saying I just 'wasn't in the mood'. He mumbled something that sounded like 'you're never in the mood,' and let, spending the night alone, swimming around the island a few times.

I listened, just as I do every night, to Carlisle and Esme as their love became physical, their cries of ecstasy becoming louder every hour. The other couples were at it as well, aside from Nessie and Jacob of course, but their screams didn't seem nearly as potent as the oldest vampire couple.

In my eyes the other couples have nothing on Carlisle and Esme, though I wish they did. I wish Carlisle and Esme weren't made for each other, like two pieces of a puzzle, but they are.

Rosalie and Emmett are too fast and too rough, forgetting to take their time and appreciate every second like a mature couple. Alice and Jasper have the emotional element, but their love making is awkward and Alice's screams are more like squeaks. Edward is inexperienced, and so am I, making us the worst couple in the house by far, of course we don't harbor those 'undying feelings of love' as the other Cullen's do.

Carlisle and Esme's love is passionate and slow. Carlisle pays attention to the details in his marriage, and sex is no exception. Esme always comes first whatever the situation may be, and she never leaves unsatisfied, of course Carlisle doesn't either. They mold to each other's bodies, flowing together like a fountain, falling into each other's embrace easily. He worships her body and she worships his, his hands glide over her rounded curves, her hands roam his chiseled features.

And every second I hear them makes my jealousy burn that much hotter and that much brighter. My envy for Esme has gone so deep that I know one day it'll snap. What day that will be escapes me, but I have a feeling it'll be soon.

"More…_please_," Esme begs, her moans bringing me back to the present. I peer down over the ledge, met by the sight of Carlisle thrusting two fingers into Esme's wet core. Esme's back arched as Carlisle placed another finger on her slit, his thumb playing with her clit.

"More what, Essie?"

I've always hated Carlisle's pet name for Esme. _Essie. _It sounds more like a child's name then the name a husband uses for his wife in bed, or should I say _sand._

Esme groans, tossing her head wildly, "More pressure…umf!"

Carlisle pushes another finger in, grinning as he does it. "You like that?"

She twists a bit, nodding her head frantically. "But I need you, Carlisle! Please!"

He pushes in, harder this time causing her to moan loudly, throwing her body like a possessed woman. "Don't you want to cum for me, baby?"

Esme grunts, pushing her hips upwards. "Ugh…course, just push on…"

Her voice falls off as Carlisle catches her in a kiss, his teeth nipping at her ruby colored lips.

"Push on what, Essie?" Carlisle cooed in her ear, pressing his lips to her cheek delicately, his hand still nestled in her folds.

She bit back a scream, her back arching again, "M-my…"

"Your what, dear?" he asked, kissing her neck and then her breasts as he made his way down her body, his tongue darting out every so often to lap at her skin, tasting her.

"My clit, Carlisle! Please…" she panted. Esme's hands tangled themselves into Carlisle's locks as he neared the apex of her thighs. Carlisle licked his lips expectedly.

"Is that what you want?" Carlisle teased, pulling his hand out of Esme's heat. She whimpered in disappointment, her face pained. Carlisle licked his hand clean and ran it through his wife's hair before leaning down to kiss her mound. She shuddered at the touch, her mouth opening to release a long moan.

Esme, knowing he wanted an answer, replied quickly. "_That's_ what I _want_."

Carlisle smiled devilishly, his teeth nibbling at her folds. His tongue came out to sweep over her slit, causing her to jump at the sudden feeling. Carlisle chuckled, "Then I shall comply, my goddess, my wife, my Esme."

A pool had begun to form in my panties, the wetness seeping through. I want him so bad; no I _need_ him so bad. I deserve him more than her, I'm better than her.

Carlisle dived in, his mouth slurping up his wife's juices, Esme's hips bucking into his mouth. "_Faster!_" Esme pleaded, her hands gripping the towel beneath her. Small tears began to form in the fabric as Carlisle neared the little bundle of nerves Esme wanted him to so badly touch. He licked around the little nub, kissing it delicately. Esme writhed under his touch, her juices flowing into Carlisle's mouth freely, and then he bit down.

Carlisle's name fell from Esme's mouth as a scream, bouncing off the cliffs and trees as she reached her orgasm. She twisted in Carlisle's arms as he licked her clean and left her heat and picked her up carefully, pulling her into a tight embrace. Her hair fanned out over her shoulders, her breasts pushing themselves against his chest erotically.

Carlisle moaned as they kissed, allowing Esme to taste herself on his lips. Her eyes slipped shut as Carlisle pulled the towel out from under them, wrapping himself and his wife in its fluffiness. Esme maneuvered herself into Carlisle's lap and sighed.

"You give me so much pleasure, yet you ask for nothing in return. Don't you want to bury yourself in my hot, wet pussy right now?" Esme asked innocently, leaning back on Carlisle's shoulder and staring into his eyes dreamily.

Carlisle kissed the top of his wife's head but shook his head. Esme looked back, a look of hurt crossing her face. Carlisle caught it and his eyes widened.

"No, I didn't mean I don't want you Esme, trust me, I do, but I think I heard something coming from the cliffs. I didn't want to strip when Bella might be staring at us," Carlisle said.

Shit! Great, now I got to find some way to get myself out of this one without looking like either a complete pervert or a man stealing bitch. This is not my day.

Esme looked at Carlisle, her eyebrow cocked. "So you'll finger me and eat me out with someone watching but you won't take off your pants?"

Carlisle sighed, "I just now heard it, Essie. It's no big deal, it was probably nothing. We'll just finish this later."

Esme smirked smugly and turned back around. Carlisle took down the umbrella, folding it up quickly and allowing the couple to stare at the ocean, snuggled closely together and completely happy.

Now's my chance.

I hopped from my hiding place to the ground and raced to the forest, my limbs pumping as ran, hoping to God I could get away. They were distracted after all, right?

"Bella?!"

Wrong.

I stopped, the leaves from a short palm tree almost brushing my face. I had been so close.

I turned around slowly, meeting the surprised but concerned face of Esme, her body wrapped in a towel, Carlisle a few feet behind her.

"What are you doing here?! W-what did you see?" Esme asked, tremors lining her voice. Carlisle put a hand on Esme's shoulder, reassuring her. I winced slightly, wishing so desperately that he would do the same to me, but he never would because he belongs to _her. _I'm not even his mistress.

I bristled slightly, and tossed a few strands of hair over my shoulder, trying to look nonchalant. "I was just daydreaming in the one of the caves up there," I said, gesturing towards the cliffs. Esme glanced up, pulling the towel around her body tighter. "I must have just lost track of time."

"Y-you didn't see…anything?" Esme asked, looking a little sheepish. Carlisle kissed the side of her face and she smiled. I winced again.

"See what?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Surely you heard…?" Carlisle said, tilting his head slightly. The gesture was adorable and my panties became that much damper. I wondered momentarily if he could smell it.

"You don't have to play dumb with us, Bella. It's ok if you wanted to watch, everyone has to learn somewhere!" Carlisle said, almost cheerfully. Esme shot him a look, causing him to shrug.

"I wasn't watching –"

"It's ok, if you were, dear," Esme said, though her facial expression said differently.

"You've seemed a little down lately, Bella," Carlisle said, "Don't you think, Esme?" His wife nodded obediently, pulling the towel closer. Any closer and she'll pop, wouldn't that be a shame?

"I'm fine; I was just going back…"

Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder, smiling slightly as he did. My dead heart fluttered under his touch, my panties soaking through. He's so perfect, so beautiful. I just want to stare at him all day long and feel his hand in mine, his lips on mine…

"If you and Edward are having trouble in the bedroom, or just getting bored, I'm sure Esme can give you some tips. Can't you, Essie?"

"Of course," Esme said, though it sounded incredibly strained, then again who can blame her. I just watched her get fingered; I mean if that doesn't embarrass you I don't know what will.

Carlisle pulled his hand away and I muffled a sigh. "Don't be afraid of talking to us, Bella, we just want you to be happy."

I decided to stop trying to cover up my shit and just act naïve. They always fall for young, innocent Bella. "I know. I'm sorry I was spying on you guys, it's just that Edward and I still don't understand some things pertaining to that…subject. I just wanted to see how the pros do it. I'm sorry."

I looked at the ground and faked a pout, twisting my foot in the sand sadly.

Esme's rigid composure melted and she smiled sympathetically, "That's fine, Bella. Some things don't come naturally and sometimes you just need to learn them. Not everything's instinct."

Carlisle nodded, "Would you like to talk to Esme now? I have some work to get done so I won't get in your way. And I'm sure Essie here can have you wrapped up before Edward gets back home."

Great. Now he thinks I don't know what sex is and he wants his wife to reach me. This day just got worse.

"I would really rather not, I think I've had enough embarrassment for one day. Plus, don't you guys have something to finish?" I asked, smirking at Esme's bathing suit a few yards away.

"That can always wait, sweetie. Are you sure you don't want to talk?" Esme asked, grabbing my hand. I suppressed the urge to pull away, not wanting any part of _her _touching me.

"I'll be fine. It won't happen again," I promised.

"Don't be afraid to talk to us, Bella. You're a part of this family and I just want you to know that we will never judge you," Carlisle said, grabbing his wife's hand. She smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling.

God I hate her.

"Ok, thanks Carlisle. I'll see you guys later, I'm just going to go find Edward," I called as they walk back down the beach to collect their stuff, their hands still connected.

I thought I could live this way, pushing my feelings down, my feelings being my undying love for Carlisle and my extreme hatred for Esme. But I couldn't. They bubbled up, burning me and everyone around me worse than I expected they would.

**OoOoOoO**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: This is an Esme x Carlisle fic only. If you like un-original pairings please do not read any further.**

**OoOoOoO**

I was sitting in the living room when I heard her first moan, deep and sensual, much to my surprise. I sat down the magazine I was reading, intently listening to my daughter's pleasure filled groans. I had really hoped I wouldn't have to give her the 'masturbation talk' but it looks like I'll have to. Carlisle had warned me about this, telling me exactly what to say and how to approach the rather embarrassing topic, but at the time I hadn't really paid much attention to what my husband had to say, I never thought I'd have to repeat any of it to Bella.

Bella has seemed a little off lately, what with her spying on Carlisle and I, but I wish she could see that we only want the best for her. I think of Bella as my own daughter and I don't want her missing out on the physical side of her relationship with Edward because she doesn't fully understand sex. Back when she was human she always seemed so eager when it came to Edward, now she seems almost sluggish.

I know for a fact Edward and Bella haven't had sex while we've been on the island, meaning they haven't been intimate in over two weeks, quite a long time for vampires and newly-weds at that. I feel so sorry for the girl and I wish I knew how to help her. Is it their technique, or maybe its Edward's size, he's always been small compared to the other boys. Maybe she just needs some pointers, though I really wish I wouldn't be the one giving them to her, true I am her mother for all intents and purposes, but 'sex tips' was never listed as one of the objectives for me to teach my children.

Another moan erupts from the bedroom Bella has been sharing with Edward, the uniquely titled 'blue room'.

Should I tell her it's wrong and that she should talk to Edward? No, that's not what Carlisle said, he told me to tell her it's 'natural instinct,' but since she has a mate she shouldn't have to do it.

But I did. Fifty years ago when the fifties were winding down and the sixties were just starting to emerge Carlisle got accepted to teach at John Hopkins as well as work, a huge accomplishment for anyone in the medical field. I was thrilled, as was he, and we moved to Maryland the very next day. Carlisle barely even had time to help us unpack before the hospital called him, asking for his assistance in the ICU. I expected him home later that night but of course he never came, calling me at 3 o'clock in the morning to tell me he had to teach a night class at the university.

After weeks and weeks of this same routine I began to get fed up, though I never told Carlisle, knowing how happy his position at the hospital as well as the university made him. I knew he would quit if I complained, and then we would have to move again, so I kept my mouth shut and my thoughts blocked from Edward. Nothing was fine, but I was handling my husband's near constant absence fairly well, until _that night._

It was September 17th, in other words Carlisle and I's anniversary. It just so happened that one of Carlisle's 'huge surgeries' fell on that Tuesday, leaving me home alone on the day that it really counted the most. He called of course, told me he loved me more than anyone else that I was the only one for him, but it didn't help soothe my aching heart. I needed the real Carlisle, not some message from him. I wanted his body on mine, his lips against my neck, his breath in my ear.

I went to my room later that night and noticed a small note sitting on my night stand. I could smell Alice on the floral paper and picked it up immediately, skimming the elegant writing quickly.

_Everyone is out hunting, so you have the house and night alone to yourself. Let go for once and enjoy yourself, I know you can._

_ Love, _

_ Alice._

Let go? What does she mean by 'let go'? I had puzzled over that for hours before finally deciding to take a bath and try to melt away the stress that had accumulated over the past six months. I stripped down, discarding my clothes in the laundry bin near the closet. The water was hot against my ice cold skin, causing it to hiss and cool as I slid in. The tub hugged my body as I leaned back, my head resting on the porcelain nicely. It was peaceful for the first few minutes, but the itch, or should I say ache, that I had hoped to eliminate only seemed to grow, spreading from my core all the way up my body. My nipples began to ache and harden as I sat up, embarrassed that I had become so horny so fast. I thought I had grown out of that phase long ago. Apparently not.

My hands go to my breasts, massaging their pillow like softness, my thumb and forefinger pinching my nipples easily. If I closed my eyes it was almost like Carlisle was doing this to me, pleasing me, making me drip with need, with _want_.

Carlisle's face appeared in my mind, almost egging me on, wanting me to touch myself.

_Go on Esme, go a little further._

But I couldn't. It wasn't ladylike what so ever, and at the time it was a very new thing to bring yourself pleasure instead of your lover. But dire situations call for dire actions.

My hands crept down, squeezing my breasts one last time before running down my body, stopping once they reached their destination. My core ached as I waited, my mind reeling, my morals being crushed under my unrelenting need for contact.

"I need this."

I thrust one finger in, my nail scratching the sensitive skin causing me to moan loudly. My breathing became labored as I writhed under my own touch, my finger curling and twisting, desperate to get the release I so eagerly needed. I inserted another finger, the feeling of pleasure intensifying tenfold. It wasn't Carlisle, nowhere near, but it was still pleasure all the same, and boy did it feel good.

After going a week without sex and months without anything other than a couple 'quickies' I was desperate and frantic, rocking the water as my hips bucked and my head tossed. Groans erupted from my body as I inserted two more fingers, my pussy almost enveloping my entire hand. My thumb involuntarily flicked my clit, it coolness invigorating in the steamy water. Wetness poured from my core, mixing with the water and causing a musky, sweet scent to fill the air.

I reached my first orgasm of the night a few moments later, splashing a few gallons of water on the floor in my heightened state. I screamed loud enough for the neighbors to hear and for the first time in decades I didn't care because I was in heaven, and this heaven was reachable. I thought I had solved all my problems.

I fumbled out of the bath tub, not bothering with a towel or clothes as I fell on the bed, my hand still deep inside my heat. The minutes turned to hours as one orgasm turned into four, one hand nestled in my folds, the other kneading my soft flesh. The phone rang twice, but I ignored it, not caring about the outside world any longer. If only I had been smart and picked up those calls.

"Carlisle…" I groaned, flicking my clit lightly, trying to work up to number five. My back arched as my forefinger hit my favorite spot, almost igniting my nirvana. I probably would have gone over the edge if it weren't for the _interruption_.

"Esme?! What the hell are you doing?!" Carlisle screamed, throwing down his bag and jacket angrily, his hat still perched on his head.

I squeaked and pulled my hand out of my core, my fingers completely drenched in my juices, as was the comforter under me. I grabbed a blanket from a nearby chair, pulling it around my naked form and drying my hands off quickly. I bowed my head in shame, not wanting to meet my husband's onyx colored eyes, my arms trembling at my sides.

"I-I'm s-so sorry Carlisle, really. It's just that it's our anniversary and we haven't made love in months…"

My voice trailed off as Carlisle walked over to me, placing a finger under my chin. I raised my head submissively, meeting his eyes for the first time. They were not burning with anger, but disappointment, something I promised to never see in my husband's eyes again. Anger hurts but disappointment is a blade to the heart, something about causing your lover displeasure makes the mind go nuts.

"We had sex last week, Esme." He reminded me flatly.

I shook my head, inevitable tears building in my eyes. "Sticking your cock in my ass against the fridge isn't _making love _Carlisle, it's called _fucking._" I had never used the term before, but I had heard Emmett use it countless times when referring to his relations with Rosalie so I decided it would be ok, though by Carlisle's facial expression you would have thought I had slapped him.

"You know I'm busy at work, Esme! I'm sorry I can't come home every night and spend ten hours trying to coax twenty orgasms out of you! That doesn't mean you have to shove your hand up your pussy and give yourself the pleasure the husband is supposed to give! Do you even know what this means, Esme? How disgraceful your actions are? I still love you of course, I will always love you, but this, _this _is not you Essie. Did someone tell you to do this? Because I know my sweet little Essie-bee would never do this to herself. Was it Alice? She is so into this new-age crap that it's clouding everyone else's judgment, I'll have to speak with her later."

"No! No, it wasn't her fault, Carlisle. I-I needed this, just this once. Please don't tell anyone, please Carlisle! I know what I did was awful, just please don't tell anyone about this. I love you Carlisle, I want you to know that and I want you to know that every second I was pleasuring myself your face was in my mind. I fantasize about you when you're not here, but now that you are…"

I tugged off my husband's tie seductively, winking at him through the tears. He grinned slightly, though it never seemed to reach his eyes.

We made love for hours that night and the next week we left town. Carlisle and I have never talked about the incident since, and I haven't touched myself since then either. I never asked Carlisle why he was so angry, my curiosity not peaking in that department. Some things are better left alone.

But here I am, standing in front of Bella's door, her moans echoing through the empty house. The rest of the family had gone hunting or swimming, leaving me alone with my daughter once again, my memories and fears ebbing to the surface.

_I wish Carlisle were here._

I knocked on the door hesitantly, awaiting a reply patiently, though it never came. Bella's moans got louder and I started to pick words out of them, deciphering them in my head.

"Carliiisle! Please!"

I jumped at the sound of my mates name falling from Bella's mouth in the form of a breathy groan. Was she fantasizing about Carlisle, or is he just a part of her Edward fantasy? Surely she loves Edward more than anyone, right?

"Stay with me, forever, please…leave her…we can live together for eternity…" she mumbled almost incoherently. _Leave her? _What is she talking about? She couldn't be talking about me…Bella's in love with Edward, she would never cheat. My thoughts were wild and sporadic, filled with second doubts and overlooks. I tried to focus, to clear my head, but the jealousy that had begun to build was overwhelming me engulfing me.

"You're mine!" she cried loudly, her voice shrill.

A growl ripped from my chest, surprising me and Bella as the moaning immediately ceased. I heard the swish of fabric and the door opened, revealing a slightly disheveled Bella, her hair and clothes a tangled mess.

"Esme?"

It sounded more like a question, as if she couldn't believe it was me who just caught her masturbating to _my husband. _She sighed and looked down sheepishly, her arms swinging awkwardly at her sides.

"I thought you went hunting with the others," she whispered faintly, her fingers toying with the hem of her shirt. She gulped as she awaited an answer.

I pursed my lips, my teeth clenching and unclenching, my body deciding whether or not to attack the girl. I pushed the instinct to kill down, though it wasn't an easy task. Vampires are made to fight and they are made to protect their mates.

Bella looked away, her eyes gleaming with worry.

"No, I didn't. I decided to stay here in case you wanted to talk, but apparently you wanted to do a lot more then talk."

Bella glanced at me, her eyes locking onto mine and in that instant I felt her pain over my jealousy. I can tell she's miserable and unhappy, maybe by her marriage to Edward, but that still doesn't give her the right to think about Carlisle in that sort of way.

For many years I considered Rosalie a threat to me and Carlisle's relationship, what with her great looks and long skinny legs I thought for sure Carlisle would choose her over me. Carlisle of course denied this a thousand of times, and even Rosalie herself told me she never held any interest in the blonde haired vampire, but I still kept a look out on her, making sure she never pulled anything. I consider her a daughter, but my mate comes first, whatever the situation may be.

I suppose I never really considered Bella a threat. She's pretty, as pretty as Alice, but she's not Rosalie and Carlisle always treated her like a child anyway, so why would he find her attractive?

Truth be told I have no idea whether Carlisle thinks anything of Bella, a fact that scares me to no end. What am I supposed to do if he leaves me? Stay with the family as the ex that won't leave? Become nomadic and be killed off in a matter of years? Find someone new?

The thought had me clenching my hands in pain. I could never find another Carlisle, no one even close exists. He's perfect in every sense of the word, and he's perfect for me.

But Bella's desperation is so apparent, so potent that is almost has me crying as well, though I stay strong not wanting to show weakness in front of the competition. If I have to win Carlisle over again I will in a heartbeat. I would do anything for that man; even lay down my own life if he asked me to.

"It wasn't meant for your ears." Her voice was stoic, her face placid.

Her sentence infuriated me but I kept calm, my teeth biting at my lip releasing a pool of venom into my mouth. It tasted strong and bitter as it circled my tongue, preparing me for a battle I don't want to fight.

"You said his name, Bella. You were fantasizing about MY Carlisle," I said, regaining composure at the end, my feet curling on the hardwood.

How could she do this? She knows how the mating system works, there are no take backs, once you're stuck you're stuck and that's final. You can't go back and re-place your order, it doesn't work that way. A mate is for life, unlike human marriages and lovers, and anyone who tries to get between a vampire and his or her mate might as well be ash. Surely Edward explained this to her years ago, she must know.

"I did, you are right. I am in love with Carlisle, ok? I've loved him for years now, never acting on my feelings because I was always too scared, too worried about what you or anyone else would think of me. Well you know what? I don't give a shit what you think about me now, because I _need _him, more then you've ever needed someone in your entire life. So don't give me that face Esme Platt because you should have seen this one coming," she barked, sticking a finger at my chest.

I seethed, grabbing her hand and pinning her against the wall, my teeth inches away from her neck from her neck, the white skin near blinding. Bella's eyes were frantic as she stared at me, tears clouding her golden orbs, masking her beauty.

"I called you my daughter and you betray me?! How could you do this to me, Bella? You know what he means to me, you know what I would be without him. And what about Edward, is he nothing to you?"

I eyed her feverishly, my grip loosening as I searched her for answers, her expression rarely changing. She reminded me of a doll, ever stuck in a depressed and lonely state, her glass eyes and painted lips melting in the summer sun.

"Maybe I would like Edward more if he didn't cry out 'Esme!' every time he climaxes or jerks off in the shower!" Bella spat out.

I gasped loudly, releasing her completely, her arms falling to her sides limply. She must be lying, Edward would never think of me like that, he would never fantasize about _me, _I'm his mother and he adores Bella.

"You're lying!" I accused sharply, my eyes squinting dangerously.

Bella scoffed and shook her head, her brown waves dancing over her shoulders.

"Hardly, though I wish it weren't true. What type of man cries out for his mommy during sex? It puts a real damper on the mood."

Bella's tone was mocking, her voice low, all remnants of the little girl I once knew completely erased, leaving a hard-edged woman in its place.

I straightened up and pushed my shoulders back, trying desperately to look more imposing. I'm a good few inches taller than Bella but at the present moment she seems miles above me, as if she were looking down at a scorned child. For once Bella was beginning to scare me.

"He would never."

"He already has, hundreds of times. I'm surprised you didn't hear him, calling out 'Esme, Esme, please, please!'. I swear he's talked about every piece of your anatomy, in detail nether less, and yet he never seems to notice, as if he were daydreaming about you," Bella mused, looking at her nails nonchalantly.

I growled again, my composure finally snapping, "You are crazy if you think I would believe your lies! Don't think that Carlisle and Edward won't be hearing about this, because they will! Mates are no things to play around with Bella, you'll get yourself hurt."

My warning went unheeded as Bella rolled her eyes, "Ok Esme, keep telling yourself that. Go run to your precious Carlisle, tell him all about my big secret but you better go fast because tonight I plan on telling everyone in the house Edward's big secret. Maybe then Carlisle will finally see who really deserves him, maybe then he'll leave you for good."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. I want him Esme, don't you see that? I want your life, everything you have I want. If I could be you I would, but that of course can't happen so I will do the next best thing. Steal your mate."

I was panting by now, my anger rising by the second. How dare she say these things to me, and threaten my relationship with Carlisle? He loves me. I know he does, he told me last night.

"Carlisle will never pick you, he loves me," I promised her, the venom building in my mouth.

"'Carlisle will never pick you, he loves me,'" she mocked, impersonating my voice almost perfectly, much to my ire. I crossed my arms, not amused by her childish games.

"He won't. Have you not noticed his pure adoration for me over the years, he practically worships me, Bella! We're standing on _Esme Isle _for God's sake! Are you out of your mind?" I screamed. My hand leapt out to a nearby chair, my fingers circling the headboard easily and crushing the wood in seconds, my anger nowhere near sated. I needed more.

Bella coughed lightly, her hand a fist over her mouth. She shut her eyes and held up a finger, stopping my rant almost instantly. "I believe the day was September 17th, 1962. Carlisle had been working longer shifts at the hospital and working a job at the university, leaving you alone for most of the day. It was your anniversary that night, wasn't it Esme? And you were looking forward to a night spent alone with your husband, but he didn't come home, so you gave yourself pleasure for the first time ever and you enjoyed it, didn't you Esme? And then Carlisle came home, early from his surgery and ready to greet you, only to find his sweet innocent wife with her hand stuck in her pussy, his name falling from her lips like honey. He was so appalled by the sight of you that he screamed at you for the first time in your relationship, frightening you, your memories of Charles coming to the forefront once again. He was disgusted by you, Esme, disgusted. He made love to you that night, but only out of pity, for his love for you was soiled the second he saw what you had become, a low-life house wife that had to result to masturbation to get a husband's job done."

I blinked, my mind trying to register what she just said. A gasp filled my lungs when I realized what she was saying…how does she know that story anyway?

"How do you-"

"Carlisle told me a few years ago when I asked him about masturbation. He's shared tons of those stories with me, all just as embarrassing and humiliating as that one."

She knows everything, all the times that I accidently messed up or did something stupid, she knows. Carlisle told her. "H-he said I was disgusting?"

"Yes. He did. He even told me he forgot why he married you after all these years, I think he went with pity, you know sympathy for a dead woman. He never liked you really; it was all just a joke. It's just like you said, Esme, you don't deserve him at all. I do."

Her words cut so deep, making my heart raw and my bones ache. Surely my Carlisle didn't say those things; he would never call me those names, especially not in front of Bella. But he could have, I might have been out and not heard them talking. He could hate me and I not even know.

"You think I'm lying, don't you? Well, I'm not. He confides in me, Esme, he tells me everything. He even told me how disappointed he was on your wedding night. He thought you had lost the baby weight after the transformation, silly him. He does think you have nice tits though, quite an accomplishment for a hundred year marriage, huh? You probably thought he would be all lovey dovey, talking about how much he loves your capacity to care and forgive, but no, he doesn't care about that. He doesn't care about you."

After all these years, after everything we've been through he repays me by doing this, by getting his mistress to tell me we're through. Something about her words seemed so real, and something inside me promised me she wasn't lying. This was real.

I took a few steps forward so I was standing right in front of Bella, her eyes dark her lips pulled taunt. I raised my hand and slapped it across Bella's face, the skin connecting with a successful crack! Bella fell back, her hand clutching her face as she looked up at me. I frowned and shook my head, horrified by what my family had become.

_I love you Carlisle and I will get you back, one way or another. This isn't goodbye._

My wedding band slips off my finger, clanging on the wood floor as I walk away, my footsteps defeated, my heart broken.

**OoOoOoO**

Carlisle POV

"Alice, what's wrong!"

Jasper's screams echo off the branches and rocks, scaring away a few dozen birds, their wings beating in the twilight gracefully. Their blood smelled oddly enticing.

"We need to go back," Alice said, gripping the sides of her head with her hands. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her spiky hair messy and coated in dirt from hunting.

"Is Esme in danger?" I asked, frightened for my mate. Edward looked at me, his face strained, his eyes black with rage. What is going on here?

Jasper's form shakes as Alice whispers something in his ear, his fist colliding with the ground angrily, crushing the small purple flower I had picked for Esme. I frowned slightly, annoyed by my children's obvious fury and their complete lack of sharing the news.

"What's wrong? Is Esme ok? Is she hurt?"

Alice pursed her lips and glanced at Edward, his head nodding slightly. Their message was quick, but not unnoticed. Something serious was up and I needed to know what it was.

"Jasper, go get Rose and Em. Meet us back at the house, maybe we can get Esme before she leaves."

Alice's voice was dim, her eyes drained. Esme's leaving?

"Leaving? Can someone please explain to me what's happening," I said impatiently. Edward snarled, baring his teeth at me angrily.

"Bella has ruined everything, that's what's happened. She told Esme that you don't love her anymore. She's packing her stuff up now."

"What?" I asked, breathless. Bella lied to my Esme? Why on earth would she do that?

"Bella loves you, Carlisle. She's trying to push Esme away so she can be with you."

The sun finally faded, the moon becoming clear in the sky, the great white orb casting shadows on my children's faces. The scene seemed so serene, so quiet and perfect, yet it was anything but. My mate is in danger and I must rescue her.

"I need to get to Esme. Now."

**OoOoOoO**

**Please no hate! If you didn't like it don't read another chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hope you enjoy! **

**OoOoOoO**

Carlisle POV

"Esme?!"

"Where are you, baby?!"

"Essie?"

"Please, please, please!"

My screams were fruitless; she was already gone by the time I got back to the house, her scent lingering like a forgotten perfume. The room wasn't messy and distraught as I had thought it would be, but clean and organized, only missing a few pieces.

Her suitcase.

Some clothes.

Her makeup and toiletries.

Yet her coveted jewelry box and wallet still sat on the dresser, untouched in my wife's hurried departure. I rummaged through them, expecting the cash and gold to be gone, but everything was in its rightful place, tucked away in the correct folds.

I threw the jewelry box at the wall, the glass shattering as my wife's favorite earrings, necklaces, rings and bracelets fell to the floor. I noticed every single one of them had been a gift from me whether it be from a birthday or anniversary. Her favorites had been from me.

Something about that touched my heart, igniting another wave of anger to roll over me. _She _did this, she ruined everything. She took my Esme away from me, her claws digging into my wife's delicate skin, her lies abusing her naivety. And to think I trusted her, I treated her as a daughter! I declared her a part of this family and look what she did! She sunk her teeth into my marriage, the single most important thing I have left in this life. She took away what's rightfully mine, what's always been mine.

_Esme._

I run my hands over the jewelry, memories spiking as I touched the silver and gold bands and chains, the gemstones shining in the dim light. I picked up an achingly familiar necklace, the jade stones twinkling slightly. I had given Esme this for our anniversary last year. She had wanted it for months, but kept denying my push to buy it for her.

"It's too expensive," she told me.

But nothings too expensive for my Essie, so I went out the next day and bought it for her, giving it to her on the crisp September day below her favorite tree, a tall maple in the back yard. She had been elated, thanking me randomly throughout the day, much to my amusement. She too got me something, a new shirt and tie for work and something extra special after dark.

The day had been picture perfect, a beautiful memory of untroubled times. But nothing good can stay, not when there's evil in the world. Then again, what is evil? Is Bella evil for doing what she did?

With clouding my brain I might just answer 'yes' to that question, but I know later, when this is all sorted out and life is peaceful once again, I will regret thinking such a thought. Evil exists in the world, I know it does, but it doesn't exist where love flourishes and I know Bella is capable of loving someone. Who that is, I don't know, nor do I care at the moment.

I rushed out of the room, flying down the staircase, almost running into my largest son. He shuffled a bit, allowing me to walk around him. I noticed his face was sullen, his arms crossed indignantly.

_Why is he mad? His wife didn't leave him._

Emmett shot me a look as I passed, growling slightly as if he could have heard my malicious thought. I shook my head at him, narrowing my eyes to show dominance. I'm the leader of this coven and it's my responsibility to keep everyone in line, even during such a traumatic and uncertain time.

Emmett growled again before becoming silent. Rosalie staggered in from the kitchen, Renesmee and Jacob in tow. Jacob held a large bottle of Gatorade in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. Nessie reached into the bag and pulled out a handful, munching on the salty crisps absentmindedly.

_Why is everyone so calm?!_

Nessie and Jacob ambled over to the couch, plopping themselves down easily and flicking the TV on to some Brazilian news station. Rosalie walked over to Emmett, grabbing his hand and tugging him back into the kitchen. I could hear their voices through the wall as they talked, but their conversation seemed to have little to do with Esme, Edward, Esme or Bella. Where was everyone and why is no one taking this situation seriously?

When I arrived at the house mere minutes ago I immediately rushed upstairs, hoping my love hadn't left yet, as Alice's vision had foretold. Edward jumped into action grabbing his wife and pulling her aside, immediately bombarding her with questions. Alice and Jasper assisted Edward while the others left, caring little about family problems apparently.

But as I stand here now the living room is empty, aside from Nessie and Jacob. No Edward, no Bella, no Alice, and no Jasper. So where is everyone?

I thought about racing outside and searching for Esme around the island but decided against it. My wife always completes a task, whether it be finishing her garden for the spring, or running away from her husband. For all I know she's probably in France by now.

With Edward and Alice's help I will be able to find her, but first I need to find them and find Bella. Speaking to her might bring some questions to light, or just put them back into darkness. I already know she's a liar by what Alice said, but she still might be able to help us.

"Where are the others?"

Nessie turned around on the sofa, wiping her greasy palms on the white fabric. Esme will be livid when she sees that.

_If she comes back, that is._

"The others? Oh, you mean Mom and Dad? They went out a couple minutes ago along with Alice and Jasper. Said they needed to talk or something like that. Told us not to worry."

I sighed, frustrated by my granddaughter's lack of information. "Please tell me you have half a clue about what's going on." My brow creased as Nessie raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I have half a clue! Esme left you because you don't love her anymore, and Mom wants to get with you because _she_ loves _you_. Oh! And Dad's 'in love' with Esme so he left to go find her." Nessie made air quotes around 'in love', her face surprisingly serious.

"Why didn't you tell me that first?!" I cried, my mind trying desperately to decipher the new and unwanted news. Nessie shrugged nonchalantly.

"They told me not to. And besides, I saw this coming from a mile away; I mean you forgot about Esme's birthday last year. Obviously you made your mind up a long time ago. As for Mom and Dad, I've been hearing them argue and bicker all of my life, their splitting is more of a relief than anything else." She slumped back into her seat, crossing her arms stiffly. Jacob pulled her into a tight embrace, resting his head on hers. "All I want is everyone to be happy and in love. If that means cutting apart a few couples and pasting them back together, so be it."

Truthfully I did forget Esme's birthday last year, but not because I didn't care or God forbid didn't love her anymore, but because I had been working a double shift at the hospital and the thought simply slipped my mind. I apologized and she quickly forgave me but I still felt extremely bad for not remembering such an important date. The next day I ran out and bought her the priciest gift I could find, a honking pair of diamond earrings. I think she wore them once then tucked them away, telling me, quite politely, that they were 'a bit flashy'. Alice found great amusement in the whole situation, as did Edward.

But just because I forgot one thing doesn't mean I no longer adore and love my wife. I married the woman of my dreams and that will never change. She's my one and only no matter what. It's disgusting to think that my complete and utter devotion to my wife was so bottled up and rarely shown that my own granddaughter thought I no longer loved my better half. She thought I loved Bella.

Though, I'm not sure whether I'm more surprised by the fact that Nessie assumes I no longer love Esme or the fact that Edward ran away to find Esme. Surely it can't be because he harbors actual feelings for her, feelings of physical attraction, or _love. _He must just be going to find his 'mother' like a good son, the son I raised to be a good man, a man who would never intrude on another man's relationship.

_ Surely Nessie's lying._

"Edward's gone?! Do you know which direction he went? Did he take the boat? I bet he searched the island didn't he? He's probably long gone by now, and he's got the upper hand what with his mind-reading capabilities. Dear God, what has happened to my family?" I whispered the last part quietly, hoping my granddaughter didn't hear the desperation and anxiety in my voice, though I'm sure she did.

"Yes, he's gone. I'm not sure if he searched the island first, probably not since if Esme were on the island he would have been able to hear her thoughts. I know he didn't take the boat since I didn't hear the engine start, and yes, he does have the obvious upper-hand. Good luck." Her tone was almost mocking as she flipped to a popular reality TV show. I grimaced at the normalcy of the scene.

How many times have I sat on that sofa with my wife, watching TV, snuggling quietly, away from the world? How many? How many times did I take it for granted?

_How fast things can change when the world moves faster than you do._

"Do you know what direction he went?"

Jacob eyed me annoyingly, his mouth forming a slight scowl. I promptly ignored him, most certainly _not_ in the mood for his teenage hormones.

"How am I supposed to know that? Come on, Carlisle, she's _your _wife, you go find her. I think that if Edward finds her first then she's his, I mean doesn't that seem fair? Winner gets all? Plus why even bother? You got Bella outside who would willingly give you her life and your running after this woman who up and left you without even saying goodbye? She doesn't seem like much of a prize, does she? By the way, I found this ring on the floor. Think it's hers. Edward told me to give it to you, said it might help give you a little 'closure'."

Nessie reached into her pocket and produced a simple diamond ring, the sparkling jewel set in a sleek white-gold band. It glittered hauntingly, almost teasingly.

_She couldn't._

Nessie tossed it toward me. I caught it easily, making sure it didn't slip through my fingers. Jacob smirked.

_Yet, she did._

Sure enough, it was the ring I gave Esme all those years ago. Every detail was there, down to the engraving inside the band, '_With my love'._

I gingerly took off my own ring, inspecting it carefully. The engraving I had placed inside was still apparent, '_I see no end'. _I slipped the ring back on, my confidence suddenly and comfortably boosted. Nessie eyed me from the couch; her hands perched under her chin reminding me of her days as a child.

"Give up the fight, Carlisle. There's no use. Isn't it obvious enough? She doesn't want you. Please don't make this harder on yourself; you'll only get hurt worse." Jacob nodded at me, his eyes bored.

"I think Bella's a better catch anyway," Jacob added. Nessie cast him a dark look, causing the shape-shifter to shrug.

"At this point and time neither of your opinions matter. I thank you both for giving me the information you did and I hope the best for your parent's marriage, Nessie. Hopefully I will see you both soon, and hopefully Esme will be with me." My voice sounded strong and steady.

Nessie rolled her eyes. "Oh Carlisle, you're almost as stubborn as your son."

And with that the young couple turned back around, their eyes immediately transfixing on the pixels in front of them. The act was small, and completely normal, but somehow it made me feel that much more alone. Who do I have if my own granddaughter won't even help me?

Who do I have?

**OoOoOoO**

Esme POV

"What? No, I'm not trying to threaten your village. I'm really not, I promise you that. I'm just passing through, I'm so sorry if I trespassed on your…whatever this is." I eyed the other villagers with trepidation, unsure of what to think of the small, tan skinned people.

"Passing through?" the man said his voice thick with accent. His hair was cut short, small beads tying the loose strands to the top of his head where a halo of tribal-looking tattoos decorated his skull. He was very short compared to my 5 ft. 6 height, and rather skinny as well, maybe even malnourished. A sudden wave of sympathy for the poor man came over me.

"Yes, just passing through. I don't want to hurt anyone, I'm just trying to get out of the country," I explained slowly. I didn't know the tribe's native language and with my flurried mind I hadn't been able to pick up on any common words. "I'm trying to get away from my husband."

The man eyed my suitcase hesitantly, his hand going to his pierced ear, tugging at the stretched lobe habitually. He glanced at the other villagers, who seemed rather amused by the tall, pale woman who happened to come across their village by accident in her search for Brazil's borders. Quite honestly, I am too.

"You don't like husband?"

The man's English was butchered at best, but it would have to do. They didn't seem to have any ties to Portuguese or Spanish in their native language, which are the only two that would have helped me. I don't spend a lot of time studying small, minuet languages in the jungles of Brazil. Maybe I will after this.

_Then again what is after this? What are you going to do, Esme? Find a job? Get a new husband? Try to kill yourself again? Face it; you don't have a future outside the Cullen Clan._

"Uh, well, it's a very long story, and I really must be going. See, he's probably looking for me by now and I really don't want him to find me so I think I'll just be leaving –"

A small girl, maybe five or six, rushed out of the crowd of villagers that had formed around me. Her hair was long, or at least longer than the rest of the women, and a tiny, hand sewn doll was dropped over one arm. Her eyes were deep brown, and sorrow filled. My heart instantly went out for the girl, my maternal instinct kicking in.

"Wait! I don't want you to leave, stranger. You look like my mommy, are you my mommy?" the small girl asked, latching both arms around my legs. I patted her head affectionately but pried her off, careful not to hurt the fragile human.

"Orphan. Mother from town far away. Husband killed her for being a bad wife," the village chief clarified, rather sadly, his expression suddenly drawn.

I eyed the little girl again. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her doll hanging limply in her arms. An orphan.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not your mommy," I told her, crouching down to her height. I could feel the warm mud sticking to my pants but chose to ignore it.

Her bottom lip quivered as she pouted, a tear flowing down her gaunt cheek. Her eyes were glassy as she stared at me, and for a moment it was almost like she knew who I was, who I _really was. _

"I'm sorry, but I really must be going. I have to get away, before my husband finds me," I explained, standing back up. A stray ray of sunlight darted out from between two trees and I quickly dodged it, earning me a few confused stares which I sealed with a sheepish smile.

"Just a bug."

The little girl came towards me, wrapping her arms around my legs again. She didn't seem to mind my cool temperature, much to my surprise, and no one seemed to care enough to stop her from hugging the kind, but odd, stranger. Her warmth was somewhat comforting, but also scary.

_When was the last time I hunted?_

Days most likely. Isle Esme has a way of distracting even the most determined and strong-minded people, turning them into rather lazy, sex-driven people. While on Esme Isle I rarely hunt, choosing instead to spend my time with my husband or think about my husband, or sometimes both.

_Your husband._

What a joke that was. Forever and always? That is what he said, what he promised.

_Till' death do us part._

Yet here I am, Carlisle, still very much alive (or close to it) and abandoned by you because of your selfish and unreasonable needs. You were once my everything, my own personal God, my savior and Omega. What happened? When did your all-encompassing love dry up like an oasis in the desert? When did Bella become your muse?

_What stupid questions. _

There's no one to answer them. Carlisle is gone, finally with his true love and for once in my second life I am completely alone and expectedly lost.

_Like the idiot I am._

So what's the rush? Why run out of here like a maniac trying to run from a husband who isn't even going to come looking for me? I suppose I could stay here for a few days, relax and hunt a little to regain my strength. Maybe there are other vampires out there, one's who I could befriend and turn into a family like the one I once had.

Could I really do that though? Could I really just forget about my own children so fast? Could I forget about Carlisle so fast?

No.

I love my family too much to let them go now, but I have to. The family I once knew, once adored, is nothing but ruins now. The bonds we had formed over the years were snapped quickly, almost nonchalantly, as if no one bothered to remember what the Cullen family once stood for.

Honor. Courage. Virtue. Love.

What do we stand for now? What have our morals become?

Dishonesty. Adultery. Envy. Lust.

Sin.

There's nothing left for me to hold on to. Obviously they don't want me anymore, or maybe they just don't need me anymore. That must be it. Carlisle came to his senses, recognizing the useless lump as his wife, and promptly removing her from the equation.

I always thought Carlisle was much too good for me. When I married him I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have such an incredibly handsome man doting on me all day, every day. He worshipped me, and in return I worshipped him. We were each other's king and queen, living in a castle that we had woven ourselves. A castle made from our adoration, but a castle that was destined to one day fall, and fall it did.

I still love him though. Even after all the hell he put me through I still admire him with the eyes of a newlywed. If I knew why maybe my decision to run would have been easier, or at least smoother.

I felt a tugging on my pants and looked down. Two brown eyes stared back at me, framed by dark lashes. "Come with me," the girl said firmly, grabbing my hand.

I noticed the other villagers were back to their daily lives, milling around the small village restlessly. The women were down by the river, dipping intricate baskets into the rushing water, hoping to catch a few drops of the precious, but mucky, liquid. Children ran about, picking at the mud with thin twigs or helping their mothers gather fruit by the water's edge, their faces cherubic with glee. The men were deeper in the forest, their scent still palpable in the air. I could see the outline of bows in some of their hands. A few of the younger, more able-bodied men had animals slung over their shoulders, causing them to walk pompously with their fresh kill. The smell of blood hit my nose, causing my throat to burn slightly.

"How long was I standing here?" I asked the little girl as she rushed me toward one of the small wooden shacks near the river. The sound of the rushing water was almost comforting.

"Long time. Chief said to leave you alone, but I didn't want to. He said you were thinking about somethin'." She grinned, showing off an empty gum line, red with gingivitis.

She hovered at the crude opening to the shack, switching from one foot to the other, her palm sweaty in mine. "This is my auntie's house," the girl explained. "Auntie's sick and doesn't like company, but you're special. She'll like you." Her promise was sealed with another smile.

The floor was packed mud, only slightly less sticky then the wet substance outside. The roof was thatched and hung low, perfect for children or small humans but not so much for myself. The walls were made out of various trees and palm leaves, neither of the materials doing a very good job. Sunlight was blocked by thick mud which had been packed tightly into each corner, going from the ground all the way up to the roof. The air was stale and earthy, an odd but not exactly revolting combination. The girl motioned for me to sit next to her. I squeezed in, crossing my legs gracefully.

A sunken form stood out in the dimness of the hut, her black hair hiding her face from view.

The little girl probed the form, poking the woman lightly.

"Auntie, wake up! I made a new friend today," the girl said, unashamed to have such a strange visitor associated with her.

The woman stirred, sitting up slowly. Her face was lighter than the others, though blotches of red made the fact hard to distinguish. Her hair was glossy and long, reminding me of the girl's. Her eyes were a dark green color, though they appeared almost black due to the darkness of the hut and the shadows residing around them. She was a little more than skin in bones, her blatantly obvious ribcage and cheekbones reminding me of my time with Charles, where my diet suffered tremendously. She was a pretty girl aside from her illness and she appeared fairly young, late twenties to early thirties at most. She smelled of cancer and urine. I bet she was quite the prize in her teenage years, before the illness over took her.

"Mitä? Who have you brought?" The woman looked incredibly weak and tired as she rubbed her eyes, her cheek coated in a thin layer of dirt. I fought the urge to help the poor woman.

"She showed up in the village, sy'y. She said she was running from her husband."

The woman stared at me for a moment before turning back to her niece. She whispered something in their native language, causing the girl to shrug, shaking her head.

"She is a good lady, sy'y. You judge too quickly. I brought her to you so you could tell her your story. I think she needs to hear it." The girl's voice was hopeful as she talked to her aunt, her tongue almost clicking with excitement. She bobbed on her knees impatiently as she allowed her aunt to think over her words, the sick woman licking her lips seriously. I shifted uneasily, suddenly aware of my obvious intrusion on this family's life.

I made a move to stand, but was caught by the girl's hand. "Wait! Don't go! Auntie is going to tell you a story!" Her pleads were quieted only when I sat back down, the girl clapping her hands happily. "You won't regret it angirũ!"

The woman nodded, smoothing her skirt down gently, her eyes catching a sudden twinkle, as if the thought of telling a stranger a story is a joyous thing. Maybe it is for these secluded people, surely it is for this ailing woman. She smiled sadly, wrinkles of depression and sickness forming by her eyes, only increasing her somber appearance.

"There's a reason I am sick today, why I am dying at such a young age, completely childless and completely alone aside from my little Mitä. I never stood up to evil, and because of that I was cursed. What is your name dear?" the woman asked suddenly.

"Esme. Esme Platt," I said without thinking. The words were almost instinctual, making me sick with the thought of losing my husband's memory. My right hand went to my left, twisting at my bare ring finger with distaste.

_Shouldn't have taken the ring off, Esme. It was all you had left of him._

"Mitä told me you left your husband, and now he is searching for you. Are you scared of him?" She asked, curiously. Her head was tilted slightly, her dark hair framing her long face and prominent cheekbones.

I thought about the question for a minute. Was I scared of Carlisle, like I had been of Charles? No, I don't think so. I'm not scared, just frustrated and confused. "No. I don't think I am. I'm mad at him for what he did to me but I'm not scared of him. I just really don't want him to find me."

"He hurt you?" she guessed, almost instantly.

I nodded deftly, "Yes. He loves another woman."

The woman sighed, closing her eyes. The action was odd, but somehow familiar. I realized the gesture reminded me of something my mother used to do, when she was trying to calm down me or my younger sister. She always said it 'helps clear the mind'. I wonder if the woman knew how comforting the little motion was.

"Hmm…" the woman mused, lightly tapping her chin with a slender finger. "This might be worse then I once expected. I knew you were different the second you stepped in here, Esme but I didn't think something so life changing had happened to you. I suppose you would call what's happened to you today life-altering?"

The woman's near perfect English surprised me, forcing me to only nod in my amazement.

"Well Esme, I think I might be able to help you, but you must listen to everything I say. I have seen much more then I had ever wished and I only share my painful memories in the hopes that you won't have to endure the same."

She stopped for a moment, inspecting me with squinted eyes, as if appraising a piece of jewelry. A strand of hair fell from my pony tail and I pulled it back swiftly, never breaking contact with the woman.

"I will."

She nodded, clasping her hands together almost regally. I shifted uncomfortably, an odd feeling mounting in my stomach. Something didn't feel quite right, but I didn't want to run, not now. The woman's presence was hypnotizing, almost like spell pulling me closer and closer, suffocating me slowly but surely. Yet the feeling wasn't as painful as it was different. Did she know I was a vampire? Something told me she did, and something also told me she wasn't completely human either. Not vampire, but not human.

"Every day sins are committed by millions of people in every country on every continent. They are all terrible, though they are not equal in their atrociousness. One resides over all the others. It is committed thousands of times more than the others and it severs more bonds and necks than any other sin. Do you know which sin I am talking about?"

"Anger?" I guessed weakly, transfixed by the woman's words.

"No. Anger is violent but it can also be killed with a blunt sword and a quick knife. Envy is the real killer, the snake in the night."

"Envy?"

"Yes my dear, envy. Envy destroyed my life and it might just destroy your life if you are unable to stop it in time."

"Well, how do I do that?" I asked the strange woman. I noticed her eyes had gone from a dark green to a pale blue, the darkness shrouding the orbs only slightly. The oddness of the situation didn't seem to fully register in my brain.

"You have to find its source and kill it," she said simply, leaning back on the wooden wall, her arms crossed over her grass top stiffly.

I opened my mouth to say something but was stopped by a something cold being shoved down my throat, forcing me to shut my eyes. A scream arose in my lungs, my breath catching in my muffled gullet. Pain seized my body as I fell to the floor, mud caking my body. I squirmed, trying to break my capture's hold, but failed, their grip vise-like compared to my own. Something kicked me in the back, cracking my spine and a rib, their fragment pinching my long dead organs. Venom pooled in my mouth, causing the vampire to wince slightly.

"Dumb bitch," he muttered, his foot colliding with my head. Darkness was quick to take me, thrusting me into an opaque world as the man tied something over my eyes, something dirty and made out of cotton fibers.

"Have fun in hell."

The vampire pulled something, causing an explosion to echo in my ears along with the familiar sting in the back of my throat. The scent of blood overwhelmed me, my thirst near unbearable.

I could hear women's cries, and children's wails, but none of it seemed real. My reality was so simple, so utterly ordinary that something so violent and hostile couldn't possibly happen to me, or at least that's what I thought. I thought Carlisle would always protect me.

As the bulky vampire pushed me into some sort of crate venom spilled from my eyes, drenching my shirt and skin. Mascara ran down my cheeks, catching in a few strands of hair that had fallen from their tie. The engine below me rumbled to life.

Someone grabbed my waist, pulling me out of the crate roughly. He pushed me down on the hard metal of the truck bed, his mouth hot against my ear.

"You thought you could run, Esme, but you can't even do that."

**OoOoOoO**

**Who is the masked vigilante? Wait and see! And please review for another chp!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took so long to update, I've been a little busy lately! Hope you enjoy this little chapter!**

* * *

Esme POV

"You! Go get my wife. I want her to be ready for tonight," a familiar voice barked. It sounded like a man, loud and rough. A shudder ran up my spine like an electric fuse.

I froze within the cage, stopping my constant pounding to listen for a moment. I knew that voice, I had come to associate unspeakable horrors with that voice. That voice was my living hell.

"She bit me last time, I'm not trying that again!" another voice echoed. This was someone else, though still a male. He sounded younger, his words coming out almost like a squeak. If I was in any other situation I might have even laughed at such a strange voice, but not here. Not now. The only thing I could possibly accomplish was another shudder and shake as my cage seemed to close in on itself, crushing me from the inside out as fear ate away at my decomposing body.

"Fine. Felix, go get Esme," the first voice said casually. A pregnant pause followed before I heard a steady pair of footsteps coming toward me.

I squirmed when two strong hands pulled me from my confines, gripping my sides and pulling me into the air like a child. I screamed and wailed, pounding my fists into my captor to no avail.

He growled lowly and threw me over his shoulder, tugging my legs forward so my chest was resting on his rather muscular (and incredibly hard) joint. I whimpered and clamped my eyes shut, hoping to block out the pain by shutting out my vision.

Darkness spread out beneath me when I finally opened my eyelids again. I touched around the blackened room, futilely searching for something to grab onto, or at least something that would tell me of my surroundings. I had more than an inkling of where I was, but I really didn't want to admit it to myself. I didn't want to admit I had allowed myself to be captured in such a brutal and animalistic way.

I was in Volterra being held as prisoner.

To make matters worse (as if I needed to do that) my warden was none other than my lovely and endearing ex-husband Charles Evenson. I, of course, didn't want to admit it to myself when I first heard his voice and saw his hideous face through the metal bars of my cage, but now, after one whole week, I have admitted defeat and accepted reality.

Almost.

The walls are stony and cold as I grapple at them, the floor beneath me slick with some type of liquid, causing my movements to become awkward. I'm terribly thirsty and my body has become somewhat weak. A cry escapes me as I bang at the wall, so terribly desperate to leave this hell I have, not surprisingly, found myself in. But there's no way out. I know that for sure, for if they were I would have found it by now.

I hear a door ease open and a figure appears beside me, his scent frighteningly familiar. Heavy hands are placed upon my shoulders and before I can even react they are pushing me down, forcing me to the floor where my face is pushed into a murky puddle. Liquid pours into my mouth, forcing me to spit and gag as Charles berates my back with fierce punches and throws.

I screamed sharply when he grabbed my hair, pulling me up until I was in an awkward sitting position against the wall. The uneven stone mixed with my ex-husband's gagging scent caused fear to begin pulsing through my long dead veins like blood from an open cut. My breathing became labored as Charles leaned down and licked at my neck, his venom coating the skin in a painful and rather disgusting way.

"Charles, _please _stop. I can't do this again, please," I begged, images of the last time he brutally raped me running through my mind. It was over twenty-four hours ago but it felt sooner, as if he had just finished and then came back for more a few minutes later. I wouldn't be surprised if that really happened. It reminded me of something Charles would do.

He pinched the inside of my bare thigh and hissed at me through clenched teeth. Dread filled my bones and pooled beneath me in the form of venom as Charles pushed into me, roughly crushing me against the wall, his fingers tearing at my naked flesh, causing tears and cracks to form across my body.

I howled, I screamed, I cried, but none of it worked. No one was coming. I was alone in this horrific world, as I always guessed I would be. It was only a matter of time, right?

"You filthy whore," Charles ground out between shoves. His mouth clamped down on my neck tightly as he released inside of me, spilling into my womb as he had done countless times before a century ago. I gasped at the feeling, my fingers nails peeling down his back as I tried to push him off me. Anything to get him away. Anything to _get away_.

"Stop. It." He grabbed my right breast and squeezed it, limply at first, almost in a comforting way, but before long it became excruciatingly tight and unbearable. I yelped once and allowed him to overpower me again, this time without fighting. What's the use? Why waste any more precious energy when he could defeat any defense I offered up? Why even try?

I stared up at Charles as he thrust into me, wondering how on earth this devil had wound up in my second life. Who changed him? What were the circumstances? And how on earth did he wind up with the Volturi completely and utterly gift less? Why would they want to keep him around?

He appeared older then he was the last time I saw him. I'm guessing probably ten years or more, which puts him at around forty since he was four years older than me on our wedding day. His once black hair was now streaked with grey and his eyes, eternally perfect with vampirism, held a hint of exhaustion. Even under these awful circumstances he was still handsome in some ways. I had, at one time, loved this man, and maybe that changed some things. He had abused me, and was still abusing me today, but I had given everything to this man. He let me down of course, but in the end, after my rebirth, I forgave him and moved on. I had to, in order to keep my sanity.

And then this happens. Yes, of course this would happen and at the perfect time too. Right after I had left my second and practically perfect husband Carlisle, my first husband, the dramatically flawed one, comes looking for me. I swear this would only happen to me.

"Charles!"

Charles growled and retreated from my sore figure in one swift movement. He cursed as he grabbed his pants and pulled them up quickly, shooting me a deathly look in the process. He glanced at the door, a sinister smile pulling at his lips.

I couldn't see through the darkness, so the figure was invisible to me, but I knew well enough who it would be. I had begun to expect her appearance whenever Charles did these…things to me. If I didn't know better I would have thought she actually cared about me.

"Isabella." Charles grinned and stepped forward, offering his hand to her. "You look lovely as always."

She walked a few feet into the darkness, one hand holding a candle, the other holding a glass pitcher of blood. I could tell by its scent that it was animal blood. Since Bella's eyes were a deep red I could only guess the blood was for me. Venom flooded my mouth at the idea of finally being able to feed.

She held the candle up to Charles face and snarled lowly before shoving the pitcher at him. A few drops sloshed over the rim, forcing me to resist the urge to lick the floor.

"This is for her. You can't starve her. That won't make her any more compliant."

Charles eyes narrowed. "Who said I want compliance? A little fight is fun, isn't that right Essie?"

My nose perked as the strong smell of blood wafted from the container Charles was now holding. He patted my head softly and smiled.

"And, if we're getting technical here, Esme is my property. She's my wife and you allowed me to take her. You assigned me to capture her and I did just that. Now that the job is done, I get my reward." He turned slightly and threw his arm out in my general direction.

Bella's eyes flickered from Charles to me, and, after a few long moments, she nodded solemnly. "You're right. Do as you wish with her. She's not my problem, have your dark and twisted fun with her. I don't care."

She began to leave but Charles stopped her suddenly, tugging at her long robe like a child. She turned around, her eyes squinted. "What?"

"Have they found that blonde haired pacifist? What was his name again…Carlisle? Has Santiago and Heidi found him yet? I swear the second I find that bastard I'm going to tear him apart…"

_ They're searching for him!? _

Oh God! Why did I ever leave him? I wouldn't even be in this mess if I didn't make such dumb decisions. And Carlisle, _oh dear God. _

Charles would kill him. He's a jealous beast, and now that he knows about him, now that he's a _vampire, _he will be out for blood. He'll kill him and then he'll kill me, just like he always said he would.

_ How could I have let this happen?_

Bella grabbed his arm and tossed him away from her, a look of disgusting masking her face. "No. They haven't found him yet and I bet they won't. You made your little crusade a little too noticeable and the Cullen's caught wind of it. When the guard finally made it to the island they were all long gone. Because of you we might never find him."

Bella shot me a quick look of pity before leaving, shutting the heavy door behind her loudly. I could help the wave of joy that passed over me at her last words. They hadn't found him. Yet. But Carlisle's smart, and so are the rest of my children. Surely they can get away, especially with Alice and Edward on their side. The only thing that could seriously stop them would be me. If Carlisle came looking for me and Charles captured him too…

I shook my head wildly, desperate to rid my mind of the nasty thoughts. I could only hope and pray that my husband wouldn't be so stupid as to come looking for me, which he probably will. God help him…and me.

Charles gruffly picked himself up and stalked back over to me, leaning down so he could more easily pick me up. He did it almost with a delicate hand, as if he were picking up a porcelain doll. I felt his hands wrap around my arms as he pulled me up and carefully tossed me over his shoulder. He slapped my thigh crudely before exiting the dungeon like room, his grip on my legs infinitely tight. I didn't even bother squirming as the sharp scent of sage and rosemary hit my nostrils, causing fear to rise within me. He was taking me to see the brothers. More importantly he was taking me to see Aro.

"Charles, please," I begged though clenched teeth. The pain of embarrassment was slowly becoming unbearable as I became acutely aware of my state of undress. I had almost become okay with Charles seeing me this way over the past few days, after all he had already seen me naked anyway. But when other guard members came in to see me, such as Jane or Alec, both of whom would extract their daily doses of torture on me as a bit of a game, I couldn't stand the idea of other people seeing me in such a way. I was already filthy from what Charles had done, but I didn't need to let myself go any further. He hadn't stripped me of all my dignity. Not yet anyway.

"This is humiliating." I whispered fiercely, causing Charles to laugh a dark and pitiless laugh. He adjusted me awkwardly on his shoulder and shrugged.

"I don't think that's my problem."

"You bastard," I seethed, which caused another sharp laugh to explode from Charles chest.

"That's no way to talk to your husband, especially not when he's being so kind as to allow you to sit in on important affairs, such as this one."

Charles neared the Volturi chamber door just as a human darted past us to open it for him. The little girl, who couldn't have been more than twenty-five, looked at me strangely. I couldn't detect any hint of pity or sympathy within her eyes, I'm sure she had already seen much worse, but it would have been nice for at least one person to care.

_Many things would be nice right now, that's for sure._

"Charles, how nice to see you again. And I see you…_brought_ Esme along as well. What a pleasant surprise." Aro glared at me as Charles set me down on the marble floor. Almost instantly I fell to the ground, cowering under the sharp gazes of the brothers and the guard. I noticed Bella was one of them, her head tucked down in a dutiful, or maybe respectful, manner. I couldn't really tell.

"We need to talk about Carlisle, Aro. I want him gone. Why hasn't that happened yet?" I peeked up from my position on the ground and locked eyes with Aro, who was wearing a particularly hard gaze. His lips curled as he stared at me then Charles. What was he planning?

"I think you might have forgotten some very important information, Charles. It would serve you well to remember it quickly," Aro said quietly, ushering Jane over from her post by his chair. Her red eyes gleamed as she walked over, her small, twelve year old frame almost nonthreatening. Almost.

Charles screamed loudly as Jane's power bore through his brain like an electric wire. For a moment I almost felt sympathy, for I knew the pain well. I had never felt anything near as awful as that pain. Everything else seemed to pale in comparison. I almost begged Jane to stop, to allow the poor man to go free, and then I remembered who it was. I didn't try to stop her then, but I didn't enjoy it either.

Though, as I stood there, watching my ex-husband wither and wallow in pain, I wondered why I didn't feel joy. After all he had done for me, he truly did deserve it. And yet the vicious thoughts that I assumed would follow Jane's torment never came. How on earth could I be mad? No matter what happened to me or anyone else, I lacked the physical and mental capacity to actually wish pain of any kind on anyone. I never wanted harm to be placed on someone, even if that someone is Charles.

"Master, don't you think that's enough-" Bella started. Her pallor, which was already so incredibly bright, even for an immortal, had chilled beyond its normal shade, causing me to come to the conclusion that she found this sight as concerning as I did, which, in my mind, made absolutely no sense.

Why would she, the essential route to all my obvious problems, feel the same sympathy I was feeling? I had already discounted Isabella as someone closer to a block of ice then an actual human being. After all she had done to me, after the life she had cursed me with, it was hard to conjure any pity for her, but like with my ex-husband, the kinder part of me was able to.

I don't really understand Bella's situation, for all I know she was forced into what she did by Aro or any of the guard. Who am I to judge someone I hardly seem to really know?

"Quiet, Cullen!" Aro barked. His teeth, like gleaming razors, sliced his words into tiny pieces until they were as sharp as shards. Each syllable made the girl wince, and even I, who the words weren't even directly pointed at, felt the anger behind his command in my very bones.

Bella blinked oddly and looked down at her feet, a nervous flutter over her eyelids. She was thinking, I could tell.

The room suddenly became very dark as the sun faded behind a cloud, casting the room in an eerie, night-like glow. My back, which was pressed firmly against the west facing marble wall, tilted slightly as a bolt of fear shot up my spine in a sudden and rapid succession. Something was about to happen, I could feel it. Aro looked at me darkly, a sly predatory smile creeping across his ghostly lips in a silent whisper. I instinctively flinched, backing closer to the wall as shelter. My hands crept over my chest, trying desperately to hold onto my last few strands of dignity.

"Mr. Evenson is in the need of a little lesson, wouldn't you say, Jane?"

Aro clapped his hand on the girl's back, directing her attention toward her. She turned quickly, expectedly awaiting her master. The pain which she had caused slowly but surely stopped as Charles regained his posture. His knees shook like a toddler as he teetered over to Aro, a fierce scowl painted across his face.

"Obviously you have forgotten the only reason you are still alive, Evenson. Do you know what that reason is?"

Aro's question eluded me. To be honest I hadn't given much thought to why Charles was suddenly an immortal. He looked older than when I had left him, maybe a few decades, but not an incredibly long time. I suspected that some random nomad had turned him, or something along those lines. I knew the second Aro opened his mouth that I was deathly wrong, and by the look in Charles's eyes anyone could guess that they was something deeper than a random nomad in 'Mr. Evenson's' history.

_Of course there is, because nothing can be simple anymore. _

"I changed you, Charles, as a weapon, but not one of direct physical damage. I knew from a thousand feet away that you were nothing special. You didn't possess any special gifts besides your sociopathic nature and will to cause destruction. I didn't need you, or at least I didn't think I did at first. Once my dear friend Carlisle found his mate in your wife, and their little coven began to show signs of becoming more and more powerful, I changed you. You were my emergency weapon, for special circumstances only. I knew that if the Cullen's tried anything reckless I would be able pull you out, capture Esme, and defeat the Cullen clan in one clean swipe, for everyone knows that Carlisle holds together that coven and without him it would fall apart at the seams."

Suddenly, as if in a blur, Aro was standing next to me, his hand wrapped around my chin, threatening to snap my neck as his grip tightened to a dangerous level.

"See, Charles, you really are nothing. I don't need you anymore. I kept you around for a little while after I caught my gem, but now you are unneeded. Is that not true?"

Venom slipped down my throat in long sticky strands as I tried to gasp for unnecessary breath. I wanted to scream, to break free, but I was frozen in place by shock. Not at what Aro had done, Aro will be Aro, but by what he was insinuating. Was he really going to kill him now? After all this time?

"Master, I've been a faithful servant for almost a century. Surely you can't punish me now, especially not after I have finally found my Esme." Charles gaze softened as he caught my eyes, his irises like soft rubies in the dim light.

_He shouldn't have to die. Even after what he's done, he shouldn't have to die, especially not by the hands of Aro. _

"I will give Esme the final word. What shall it be, my dear? Life or death?"

Aro looked at me expectedly, his tongue darting out to slide over his razor like teeth, reminding me of some breed of cat. He was so odd.

I obviously knew he was reading my every thought, as we were still connected by his lock on my jaw, but at that moment I don't think I could have cared less. I was uncomfortable, and naked and just darn right mad. I wanted to go home to the family I should have never run away from. I wanted Carlisle. More than anything I wanted Carlisle.

"I want to go home," I murmured softly, causing Aro to loosen his grip slightly to accommodate the movement. He looked at me with an amused and wry smile.

"That's not what I asked. Do you want Charles to live or die?"

I took a deep breath, allowing the air to clear my jumbled mind. I couldn't think straight. I was scared. I wanted to go home. So I made a hasty decision, one that I knew I would regret. But I made the choice consciously, and with the hope that it would lead to my eventual rescue. I knew it wasn't right, but I needed Carlisle and my family back. I was selfish, but I had already decided my selfishness was rightfully deserved.

"Kill him. Please kill him and let me go home."

OoOoOoOoO


End file.
